my day started off well. (:
went school with peini and alvin.
& the topic was all on soccer, soccer and still soccer.
=.=
firstly.
NE video on history of singapore was ________.
this is how peini react;
- this dear girl was sleeping throughtout the whole video.
HAHA.
you should know what to fill in for the blank.
lastly.
chenning drove me home today! (:
awww, i just find it so romantic. i admit its a L-O-L. but yar! haha.
chatted quite alot with chenning and wenqi on the way back. (:
COOL.
-afterall, pretty lot of people are displeased with the way sbm club is working.
middle.
i had to face her quite a number of times today.
1st: at koufu. when i saw her from F-A-R. the sense of guilt in me was still so strong that i felt a pinch on my heart and lost my appetite to eat.
2nd: at the stairstairs to lecture hall. my first instinct was not to let her see me and alvin together. though she still saw us in the end.
3rd: at skygarden. when chenning was standing beside her, i didnt even had the courage to call out for chenning. imagine how guilty or whatsoever i felt?
4th: outside printing shop. there was a rush of adrenaline the moment chenning greeted her and i had to see her face to face? i dont know how i should react but she said hello to me. but i was at a loss of how to react? was the hello a really sincere one or she had to fake it out? IDK.
enough of those.
all along, i was deceiving myself.
that by not reading her blog, keeping my promise towards cheryl, i can go on fine.
but everything that happen today proves me wrong.
the reason why i've been feeling fine for the past few days is purely because i didnt have to see her face to face.
BUT!
at the same time.
i think i can do it.
meaning?
i SHOULD BE able to stay on in sbm club even if i had to face her.
'cause i really bu she de those people in sbm club.
esp MAYBLE KOH and blahblahblah.
& chenning shared with me alot of stuff.
she told me not to run away from my problems.
& i told her these.
which was, if i cannot even overcome my own phobia, how can i going to face the challenge i'm getting.
afterall.
what i want to conclude in the end is.
MS TOO SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT. (:
today is just the beginning.
things should get better.
let me hold on to these belief i have for now.
'cause this is what is keeping me strong.
& tomorrow will be a better day. (:
i wouldnt say that i've regained ALL my faith towards relationship.
i wouldn't say that i've got NO faith towards relationship.
but
what i would say is
.... ..... ( actually, i also dont know what i want to say, haha! )
(:
MS TOO'S BLOG!
